"Love Is A Renewable Resource"

I opened up a pack of encouragement cards today and this was the first one: "Love is a  renewable resource." It was good to be reminded how abundant love can be. Even when you think you are running out of patience, you're hurt or angry, or you're just tired of giving and feeling like you aren't getting, love is a choice you make every day. Every time you get out of bed, every time you fight, every time you feel like doing your own thing instead of giving to someone else.

Every morning Alex wakes me up at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 AM, and I finally get out of bed at 7:00 and get him up for the day, I make a choice to either love on him or be tired and grumpy. Sadly I can't say I choose the first option every time, but I make an effort.

Each time Dan and I argue over anything I have to make the choice to love him despite my anger, frustration, insult, or sadness. Again, I don't always make the right choice in these instances.

But if I were to stop making these choices, life would begin to fall apart at the seams. That's where it gets hard: sometimes it takes flat out forcing yourself to say "I love you". When I feel insulted and ready to walk away, I need to end the conversation in as loving a way as possible. When I'm frustrated with Alex crying all day long, I need to remember he needs his mom to love him and isn't doing it to frustrate me.


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On an entirely different note, I went to a substitute workshop today to learn how to sub in Johnson City. It was four hours long, early in the morning, and it was the longest stretch I had to sit up straight, stay awake, and dress up since way before Alex was born. Aside from the complaints, it was interesting and I got excited about having an excuse to get into a classroom and teach! Hopefully I can show someone that I can do it--maybe scoring myself a position sometime in the near future! We'll see. Tomorrow's adventure: take Alex to get my fingerprinting done, and then shop for a jumperoo for him to have some fun in. Can't wait!