I can't stand the way I hear information about how babies should act and behave at a certain age, compare my son to it, and panic. No matter what I do, I always compare his daily routine to the info I get in parenting books, on parenting chat sites, and from family members. And on an almost as consistent basis, he never matches up to any of it!
Is that necessarily wrong? I've got to keep telling myself, NO!
At the same time that I hear all these "facts", I also have the voices that finish off these rants with statements like, "but babies are all different." So after you've told me how babies typically sleep through the night by five or six months, but tacked on that every baby is different, I'm now looking at Alex and thinking..."why are you still getting up to nurse every 2-3 hours around the clock?!" Well, I have to keep telling myself that (cue cliche saying now) every baby is different!
It's then good to hear from breastfeeding advocates that BF infants can't necessarily go as long as formula-fed infants because breastmilk is digested so much faster and easier. So, until the day when we officially start solid foods and he is satiated for longer, I just get to enjoy this much time with him close to me. As long as he is healthy and happy, why complain, I suppose?
Just wanted to include this article my sister sent me today. http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE70J4U220110120 This is nothing new to BF moms, but I wanted to share a glimmer of hope for us and all the future babies and their mommies.
It really made me sad that only 1 out of every 10 babies is exclusively breastfed until at least 6 months of age. Dan and I knew from the moment we found out we were pregnant that breastfeeding was a choice we wanted to make. Actually, I can't truly remember when I decided that...it seems to always have been what I wanted to do.
Now, Alex is almost 5 months old, we're still breastfeeding while occasionally dabbling with cereal at dinner time, and we're just as happy with our decision as from the start. Trouble is, we live in a time-crunched, life-made-easy world where breastfeeding seems to be the inconvenient route that many mothers turn away from. Not only do most mothers choose to stop breastfeeding after the first few weeks, but I have had personal experience (especially from some pro-formula family members) where I have been made to feel like the outcast.
Just a few things I want to make clear about BF that a lot of people I have come into contact with have been saying:
1. Breastfeeding should not hurt, IF you are doing it right. Lactation consultants and nurses in the hospitals will help you learn to do it right. Just remember, babies are born with the sucking reflex, but they are just as unskilled at BF as you.
2. Breastfeeding is perfectly suited to your child's needs. Don't let your MIL (or someone of the like) who was unable to BF or chose not to tell you that breastmilk is not good enough for your baby. Certainly don't let them tell you you are not enough for your baby (That is all-too infuriating to me). Often they speak out of bitterness or ignorance. You, your baby, and your baby's doctor know best. Breastmilk is so much better for your baby than any formula you can find on the market. Why do you think we were created with the ability to nurse in the first place?
3. Absolutely NO formula comes close to the nutritional value of breastmilk. No matter what you try.
4. Breastfeeding is not hindered by size. ;)
5. Breastfeeding moms can still take birth control, and are far less likely to become pregnant even without the pill! Woo hoo, no periods for a long time! (Why would you want anything different?!)
6. You do not have to be in it alone. You can pump and allow others to bottle feed your baby. Also, there are free clinics and groups all over the country that offer advice, information, and lend an ear to breastfeeding moms who need to talk or figure stuff out. There are plenty of support systems out there!
Most BF advocates promote it by saying its easily accessible, always the right temperature, and perfect for the baby's nutritional needs. But when you whip out your cover-up to feed your baby in public, you get more stares from strangers and family alike, all thinking a variety of things: "oh how strange", "in public? how rude!", "my baby sleeps longer overnight because we formula feed", "why do you bother? It is so much easier to bottle feed with formula." Or my favorite comment so far, "you should at least pump more bottles. That way other people can enjoy feeding the baby and he doesn't need mom anymore." Ouch! I reply with a nice, "I'd be happy to pump once in a while if you'd like to feed him," but on the inside I'm screaming, "go have a kid yourself and feed her all the bottles you want. This is my baby, and I don't even want to let you feed him!" At least in my five months of experience, the ready-to-eat form can come as a hindrance (and even sometimes an embarrassment if I let it), even as much as I and my son enjoy BF.
Over the new year, I was at a family party where people knew I was breastfeeding. They made comments about it, mostly to joke that they shouldn't offer me the alcoholic drinks, but thankfully none of the comments were hurtful or too embarrassing. The worst I got was my BIL yelling about boobs. They seem to respect our choice, but I could tell they thought it was weird. Let's face it, I was the oddball in a formula world. Alex' cousin, who is only four weeks older, was asleep for good after someone had fed him his last bottle of the night. They didn't know what to think or say when I got up to go feed him every few hours. It's hard to be the odd woman out! The best part of the night, when I was feeding him upstairs, one of the family friends came in to lay her 2-year-old down for bed. She was excited to see someone else BF, especially at this particular party where the people had always given her a rough time. She admitted being an extended BF--all the way til the little one was two! Even though I don't plan to BF that long, I couldn't help but be excited that someone else felt the same way I did and wasn't afraid to go against the grain. She is very proud that her daughter never had an ounce of formula. Kudos to her!
All this aside, it is a personal choice, and you should stick by what you have decided. I know several people who chose to breastfeed. I also know several people who either chose to formula feed because BF just couldn't fit their lifestyle, and some who couldn't breastfeed because of medical issues. Whatever your choice may be, don't let others put you down or make you feel bad for your decision. You are acting out of love and doing what you feel is best for you and your baby!
http://www.llli.org/
http://www.naba-breastfeeding.org/
http://www.breastfeeding.com/
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